Monday, August 31, 2009
numero uno embarrassment of the day(s). i've been wearing my shirt inside out for the last fourteen hours and i've just realized that. ooops.
dunno why i felt so tired. i actually sacked out for nine hours. a near-miracle when it involves me and sleep.
had so much fun playing mahjong yesterday. i haven't realized how much i missed hanging out and talking with glen. he's finally gotten his license so he picked us up yesterday. s'funny but apparently he's the best driver out of the three of them so no comments.
i think i half-convinced him that having some semblance of red brings good luck. coz my grandma had painted her nails red, my uncle was wearing a red shirt and i had red highlights and we kept winning while he actually didn't start winning until much much later.
trying to convince jt to play mahjong with me, glen and mich later in the week. superbly unsuccessful. its like sisyphus, rolling a boulder uphill only for it to slide back down. humpf.
dunno why i felt so tired. i actually sacked out for nine hours. a near-miracle when it involves me and sleep.
had so much fun playing mahjong yesterday. i haven't realized how much i missed hanging out and talking with glen. he's finally gotten his license so he picked us up yesterday. s'funny but apparently he's the best driver out of the three of them so no comments.
i think i half-convinced him that having some semblance of red brings good luck. coz my grandma had painted her nails red, my uncle was wearing a red shirt and i had red highlights and we kept winning while he actually didn't start winning until much much later.
trying to convince jt to play mahjong with me, glen and mich later in the week. superbly unsuccessful. its like sisyphus, rolling a boulder uphill only for it to slide back down. humpf.
what we could have been, 12:09 pm.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
I'm feeling kinda strange
'Cause of all the things you say
Yeah I know, too good to believe
This probably won't work
'Cause you're kind of a jerk
And for sure you're way too cool for me
Yeah I'm a fool for love
'Cause I just can't give you up
I'm a fool for love
Wish I could stop, wish I could stop
I'm a fool for love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm a fool for love
Can't get enough, can't get enough of your
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la, yeah I'm a fool for love
-STEFY
so maybe it isn't that bad.
i love the whole rollercoaster rush.
the whole 'is this love?' shebang.
so maybe one day i'll tell,
maybe i won't.
like i said before,
its your happiness that matters to me.
and not what i want.
i'm a fool for love.
and i don't wish it any other way.
'Cause of all the things you say
Yeah I know, too good to believe
This probably won't work
'Cause you're kind of a jerk
And for sure you're way too cool for me
Yeah I'm a fool for love
'Cause I just can't give you up
I'm a fool for love
Wish I could stop, wish I could stop
I'm a fool for love
'Cause I just can't get enough
I'm a fool for love
Can't get enough, can't get enough of your
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la, yeah I'm a fool for love
-STEFY
so maybe it isn't that bad.
i love the whole rollercoaster rush.
the whole 'is this love?' shebang.
so maybe one day i'll tell,
maybe i won't.
like i said before,
its your happiness that matters to me.
and not what i want.
i'm a fool for love.
and i don't wish it any other way.
what we could have been, 12:38 pm.
Don’t throw your heart away because you’re gonna get it thrown right back at you, twice as hard, and you’re going to miss it, and it’s going to fall and hit the ground and break into a million pieces.
i know i sound so freaking repetitive. but i can't help it right now. i hate playing the friend. i don't want to sit around while you parade your latest squeeze. am i selfish to ask for your time? i don't even want for you, because i never want to put you in a spot and i just want to see you happy.
how much does this suck. to adore someone who doesn't want you. for you not to know, so that i can happily remain in the picture. i'm not asking for the skies, i just want to be here for you.
there's no escaping. it's too late. i've fallen.
i know i sound so freaking repetitive. but i can't help it right now. i hate playing the friend. i don't want to sit around while you parade your latest squeeze. am i selfish to ask for your time? i don't even want for you, because i never want to put you in a spot and i just want to see you happy.
how much does this suck. to adore someone who doesn't want you. for you not to know, so that i can happily remain in the picture. i'm not asking for the skies, i just want to be here for you.
there's no escaping. it's too late. i've fallen.
what we could have been, 4:50 am.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
rents just left on a weekend jaunt to bangkok and the aircon chooses to go on the fritz. le sigh. freaking annoyed. trying to position the fan so that me and my bro wont die of heat.
i know i'm overdoing it but i guess once in a long time couldn't kill me right?
weekend's looking both bleak yet packed. i feel exhausted just thinking about saturday - monday plans. but i've already made my promises so i'm not backing out. looking forward to sunday though because finally get my mahjong party going on. =D
your happiness
is all that matters
to me.
i know i'm overdoing it but i guess once in a long time couldn't kill me right?
weekend's looking both bleak yet packed. i feel exhausted just thinking about saturday - monday plans. but i've already made my promises so i'm not backing out. looking forward to sunday though because finally get my mahjong party going on. =D
your happiness
is all that matters
to me.
what we could have been, 2:39 am.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
decided that moping about it was totally stupid. i should be more mature and rise above the pettiness. and that should be the principle of things.
anyhoos. mich, i wont be bothering with wow. you can go ahead and buy if you want. talked with my cousin about it and i decided, i missed playing diablo. so am gonna be anticipating its release. me, glen and kevin were talking about it. we're so stoked. diablo3, i can't wait!
finally found mahjong kakis. now looking for a place. grawr. at this point, i wish i was an only child so that i can actually use the room, that was originally MINE, for anything at anytime. but then again, i'm blessed with siblings so i shan't mention it.
every little thing you do
makes me smile.
and i wonder
how could i ever give you up?
anyhoos. mich, i wont be bothering with wow. you can go ahead and buy if you want. talked with my cousin about it and i decided, i missed playing diablo. so am gonna be anticipating its release. me, glen and kevin were talking about it. we're so stoked. diablo3, i can't wait!
finally found mahjong kakis. now looking for a place. grawr. at this point, i wish i was an only child so that i can actually use the room, that was originally MINE, for anything at anytime. but then again, i'm blessed with siblings so i shan't mention it.
every little thing you do
makes me smile.
and i wonder
how could i ever give you up?
what we could have been, 9:05 pm.
was already in a semi-depressed mood today when i came across something that hurt me really bad. it was super insensitive of the person and i felt really upset. i know i can't, so can you fucking stop rubbing it in my face can you? was already close to tears when that person successfully pushed to my tipping point.
i guess it was a good thing that the guys were all talking/joking with me so i felt a bit better. seriously crummy mood though. axel keeps making teasing remarks which is probably gonna get him killed when i'm in a good mood but i'm just happy to be distracted from the unhappy matter.
i don't know why
i keep hanging around
for the eventual heartbreak.
every time i say i'm leaving,
you say all the right things
to make me stay.
i'm a fool to love you.
i guess it was a good thing that the guys were all talking/joking with me so i felt a bit better. seriously crummy mood though. axel keeps making teasing remarks which is probably gonna get him killed when i'm in a good mood but i'm just happy to be distracted from the unhappy matter.
i don't know why
i keep hanging around
for the eventual heartbreak.
every time i say i'm leaving,
you say all the right things
to make me stay.
i'm a fool to love you.
what we could have been, 6:48 pm.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
check up this morn. stitches out. FINALLY. early lunch in town with mom and i insisted on having my burger. tastes like heaven after all that porridge and whatnots.
went down to joyce to get my hair done. mom had to lead the way since joyce moved AGAIN. got a pretty good deal. love my burnished, copper-red hair. joyce and mom agreed it was a good choice but a bit radical. told them wasn't gonna follow the style of blonde with dark hair. hair smells honeydew/chestnut-esque and i can't get rid of it. WJ says its a nice smell but methinks its waaaaaaaaay overpowering.
took a coupla pics. posted elsewhere, go take a look-see peepos.
anyways, emo still in session. planning to declutter my wardrobe and cubby over the next few days but i feel exhausted just looking at my clothes. bleah.
you're well on your way
on becoming another
skeleton in my closet.
goodbye.
you killed me.
went down to joyce to get my hair done. mom had to lead the way since joyce moved AGAIN. got a pretty good deal. love my burnished, copper-red hair. joyce and mom agreed it was a good choice but a bit radical. told them wasn't gonna follow the style of blonde with dark hair. hair smells honeydew/chestnut-esque and i can't get rid of it. WJ says its a nice smell but methinks its waaaaaaaaay overpowering.
took a coupla pics. posted elsewhere, go take a look-see peepos.
anyways, emo still in session. planning to declutter my wardrobe and cubby over the next few days but i feel exhausted just looking at my clothes. bleah.
you're well on your way
on becoming another
skeleton in my closet.
goodbye.
you killed me.
what we could have been, 10:18 pm.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
plans fell through this morn. but met up with mich after lunch anyways. headed down to suntec, wandered around before deciding to kbox, despite the fact that i probably couldn't sing properly and that she had a sorethroat. i think we wasted two hours of miserably singing before we both got high and then our singing craze came back.
smsed back and forth with a***. mich was so intrigued and she started her own theories and all. isn't that right mich? no worries la, still very much part of the SU Club and the SM Club.
anyhoos. nothing much to say really. just that i'm gonna sack out soon. got appointment to remove the stitches tomorrow so i'm counting down til then. SOLID FOOD! i so can't wait to sink my teeth into a burger or something.
i hope to forget you.
moving on.
with someone new.
maybe,
just maybe.
smsed back and forth with a***. mich was so intrigued and she started her own theories and all. isn't that right mich? no worries la, still very much part of the SU Club and the SM Club.
anyhoos. nothing much to say really. just that i'm gonna sack out soon. got appointment to remove the stitches tomorrow so i'm counting down til then. SOLID FOOD! i so can't wait to sink my teeth into a burger or something.
i hope to forget you.
moving on.
with someone new.
maybe,
just maybe.
what we could have been, 10:23 pm.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Macchiato says:
haha
fbts?
haha
LAURA. Xサイレン. lake baikal.prydonium.♥ hells bells. twist the knife. я забуду вас. says:
but dunno leh
wanted to wear my nice tank
but its like
7 month
dowan anyhow pai
Macchiato says:
hahhaha
lols
later got someone else in the picture
haha
LAURA. Xサイレン. lake baikal.prydonium.♥ hells bells. twist the knife. я забуду вас. says:
WALAO
can dont say or not
>.<
i already scared
Macchiato says:
hahahahah
stupid michelle. she knows how paranoid i get around 7th month, especially with people warning me how blase i appear about it (despite it not being true). seriously i'm gonna have nightmares about jogging now. thanks a lot mich. stupid cow.
haha
fbts?
haha
LAURA. Xサイレン. lake baikal.prydonium.♥ hells bells. twist the knife. я забуду вас. says:
but dunno leh
wanted to wear my nice tank
but its like
7 month
dowan anyhow pai
Macchiato says:
hahhaha
lols
later got someone else in the picture
haha
LAURA. Xサイレン. lake baikal.prydonium.♥ hells bells. twist the knife. я забуду вас. says:
WALAO
can dont say or not
>.<
i already scared
Macchiato says:
hahahahah
stupid michelle. she knows how paranoid i get around 7th month, especially with people warning me how blase i appear about it (despite it not being true). seriously i'm gonna have nightmares about jogging now. thanks a lot mich. stupid cow.
what we could have been, 10:42 pm.
watched the miss universe competition this morn. was totally rooting for miss australia and miss kosovo but i put up a bet for miss venezuela to win (has anyone noticed how effortlessly gorgeous they are, hands down a win for them). i just earned $$$! kinda disappointed though. coz i think miss australia should have won. dammit.
walked to PP to meet my grandmother for lunch. i love the weather just before it rains. probably gonna go for a longer walk tomorrow. anyways had japanese lunch, ate chawanmushi. -.- my whole no-solid food diet is killing me. i am so counting down to wednesday. hopefully will remove the stitches then.
spent my afternoon dossing about before phone call with michelle. i think we managed to blather on for over an hour and a half before she went to sleep. pig. tomorrow meeting at 6am, bitch, so please wake up.
so. first day of the holidays and i'm pretty much bored already and starting to miss school. like wtf.
got three new songs today so i'm going around blasting them. yay.
i feel empty
when you're not around.
i can't leave you.
i can't forget you.
my hand in yours.
i want you so badly.
walked to PP to meet my grandmother for lunch. i love the weather just before it rains. probably gonna go for a longer walk tomorrow. anyways had japanese lunch, ate chawanmushi. -.- my whole no-solid food diet is killing me. i am so counting down to wednesday. hopefully will remove the stitches then.
spent my afternoon dossing about before phone call with michelle. i think we managed to blather on for over an hour and a half before she went to sleep. pig. tomorrow meeting at 6am, bitch, so please wake up.
so. first day of the holidays and i'm pretty much bored already and starting to miss school. like wtf.
got three new songs today so i'm going around blasting them. yay.
i feel empty
when you're not around.
i can't leave you.
i can't forget you.
my hand in yours.
i want you so badly.
what we could have been, 8:46 pm.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
never thought it would end up this way but yeah. so here i am. back to square one. shattered pieces of me, bleeding yet breathing. i'll get over this. i know i will.
don't really have plans for the rest of my hols. not keen on staying home where the boringly predictable drama continues.. i just want to get out of the house, away from the fighting, arguments.
i can't believe that i was so naive enough to believe that everything would go away just because i thought you were my knight in shining armor. enough fairy tales, there are no happy endings.
Everytime I feel alone
I can blame it on you
And I do
You just bring me down
So I'm counting the tears 'til I get over you
-michelle branch
don't really have plans for the rest of my hols. not keen on staying home where the boringly predictable drama continues.. i just want to get out of the house, away from the fighting, arguments.
i can't believe that i was so naive enough to believe that everything would go away just because i thought you were my knight in shining armor. enough fairy tales, there are no happy endings.
Everytime I feel alone
I can blame it on you
And I do
You just bring me down
So I'm counting the tears 'til I get over you
-michelle branch
what we could have been, 1:39 pm.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
i just can't put my finger to it.
why am i feeling this way again?
just when you think
everything's settled and over with,
it comes back to haunt you.
i just wish i knew
what i wanted.
because right now,
i don't know anymore
than i was at seventeen.
why am i feeling this way again?
just when you think
everything's settled and over with,
it comes back to haunt you.
i just wish i knew
what i wanted.
because right now,
i don't know anymore
than i was at seventeen.
what we could have been, 11:13 pm.
just so freaking tired. er exam was okay, wrote whatever i managed to squeeze into my cranium earlier in the am. felt so sick during the paper. doodled for like fifteen minutes before giving up on my last question. couldn't think of anything else to add so i left.
decided to take a bus back instead of waiting for my mom. big mistake. broke out in cold sweat before nearly fainting on the bus. lucky it happened just one stop before my stop, got off and forced myself to walk -must have looked like a druggie or something.
at least now i'm free from school obligations so i can sleep as much as i want. oh wells, exams finally done and over with. gonna have fun til my next term starts and then i'll have to buckle down and study hard. six classes, laura, don't screw up.
decided to take a bus back instead of waiting for my mom. big mistake. broke out in cold sweat before nearly fainting on the bus. lucky it happened just one stop before my stop, got off and forced myself to walk -must have looked like a druggie or something.
at least now i'm free from school obligations so i can sleep as much as i want. oh wells, exams finally done and over with. gonna have fun til my next term starts and then i'll have to buckle down and study hard. six classes, laura, don't screw up.
what we could have been, 2:48 pm.
Friday, August 21, 2009
twenty-three hours til er exam. and i'm still not done with studying. although to be honest, i have no idea what to study. haha. not exactly thrilled that it'll be in the am coz i doubt i'll be fully awake to take the paper. >.<
feeling much better after i switched to the new medication. not entirely sure if it was the combination of the old medication or that particular medicine but whatever. still debating on attending the exam since i'm not up to traveling around (aside from stoning around the house).
hey mich, we can totally play mahjong after this saturday -something you've been anxiously waiting to play. haha. i think i can get another two players to even up but see first yeah?
gonna go back to sleep in awhile. my new medication apparently makes me super drowsy. (should i take it tomorrow then if i'm attending the exam?)
feeling much better after i switched to the new medication. not entirely sure if it was the combination of the old medication or that particular medicine but whatever. still debating on attending the exam since i'm not up to traveling around (aside from stoning around the house).
hey mich, we can totally play mahjong after this saturday -something you've been anxiously waiting to play. haha. i think i can get another two players to even up but see first yeah?
gonna go back to sleep in awhile. my new medication apparently makes me super drowsy. (should i take it tomorrow then if i'm attending the exam?)
what we could have been, 10:14 am.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Can’t make up my mind, about the boy
Sometimes he brings me down, sometimes he brings me joy
I want him around, but he’s never in town
Can’t make up my mind, oh no
But I love him even though my friends say he’s not right
I know it’s true but can’t deny he’s on my mind
Chorus
I love him I love him I love him I love him
I love him I love him I love him I love him
And there ain’t no other that I’d put above him
I’m so mad about the boy
Can’t make up my mind about this guy
Sometimes he makes me smile sometimes he makes me cry
Other guys have tried, but he’s the one I like
I’m so mad about this guy
But I love him even though my friends say he’s no right
I know its true but cant deny he’s on my mind
Chorus
I love him I love him I love him I love him
I love him I love him I love him I love him
And there ain’t no other that I’d put above him
I’m so mad about the boy
Call it what you like but I ain’t no love fool
You would understand if he was loving you
We’ve had our ups and downs, but i still want him around
He is the one, I know is true
Chorus
I love him I love him I love him I love him
I love him I love him I love him I love him
And there ain’t no other that I’d put above him
I’m so mad about the boy
Mad about the boy by Ava Leigh
how long do i have to keep waiting?
for all of this
to start or end.
make your stand.
break my heart
or save me again.
Sometimes he brings me down, sometimes he brings me joy
I want him around, but he’s never in town
Can’t make up my mind, oh no
But I love him even though my friends say he’s not right
I know it’s true but can’t deny he’s on my mind
Chorus
I love him I love him I love him I love him
I love him I love him I love him I love him
And there ain’t no other that I’d put above him
I’m so mad about the boy
Can’t make up my mind about this guy
Sometimes he makes me smile sometimes he makes me cry
Other guys have tried, but he’s the one I like
I’m so mad about this guy
But I love him even though my friends say he’s no right
I know its true but cant deny he’s on my mind
Chorus
I love him I love him I love him I love him
I love him I love him I love him I love him
And there ain’t no other that I’d put above him
I’m so mad about the boy
Call it what you like but I ain’t no love fool
You would understand if he was loving you
We’ve had our ups and downs, but i still want him around
He is the one, I know is true
Chorus
I love him I love him I love him I love him
I love him I love him I love him I love him
And there ain’t no other that I’d put above him
I’m so mad about the boy
Mad about the boy by Ava Leigh
how long do i have to keep waiting?
for all of this
to start or end.
make your stand.
break my heart
or save me again.
what we could have been, 9:16 am.
a classroom setting.
words and hearts
litter my notes.
yours is blank,
save for messy scribbles.
i pretend not to care,
you give that all-knowing smirk
and the game is on.
red scrunchy,
leather band watch.
a moment of silence,
i giggle, you grin.
surroundings forgotten
as the world held its breath
that very afternoon.
a conspiratorial smile.
stars draping the dark background.
nothing feels as good
as just lying next to you.
words unnecessary,
our actions speak louder than words.
i just can't help myself.
you've pulled me into a world
that i never want to leave.
i'll follow you anywhere.
words and hearts
litter my notes.
yours is blank,
save for messy scribbles.
i pretend not to care,
you give that all-knowing smirk
and the game is on.
red scrunchy,
leather band watch.
a moment of silence,
i giggle, you grin.
surroundings forgotten
as the world held its breath
that very afternoon.
a conspiratorial smile.
stars draping the dark background.
nothing feels as good
as just lying next to you.
words unnecessary,
our actions speak louder than words.
i just can't help myself.
you've pulled me into a world
that i never want to leave.
i'll follow you anywhere.
what we could have been, 1:20 am.
swelling and headache's gotten worse. i feel sick trying to move around so i'm more or less just lying on my bed or in a half-dead slump on the couch in the living room.
not much studying going on. but i'm not even sure whether i'll be well enough to take the exam on saturday without passing out in the exam hall.
feel bad making my friends worry but seriously, i have no mood for any sort of conversation at the mo. erratic hours are back but it just can't be helped.
trying to be positive, more optimistic about post-surgery but its just so hard when nothing's going right. i feel helpless, even more so when i can't quite keep my emotions in check.
on a lighter note, i want to watch jennifer's body. but haven't found anyone who would want to watch it with me. highly doubt michelle's interested especially after i went high and said 'its got girl-on-girl action!'. noooooope, not happening for the time being. can't believe i have to wait til end of october though.
what hurts the most
is that i know
how much you care.
but its not enough
to have a happy ending.
not much studying going on. but i'm not even sure whether i'll be well enough to take the exam on saturday without passing out in the exam hall.
feel bad making my friends worry but seriously, i have no mood for any sort of conversation at the mo. erratic hours are back but it just can't be helped.
trying to be positive, more optimistic about post-surgery but its just so hard when nothing's going right. i feel helpless, even more so when i can't quite keep my emotions in check.
on a lighter note, i want to watch jennifer's body. but haven't found anyone who would want to watch it with me. highly doubt michelle's interested especially after i went high and said 'its got girl-on-girl action!'. noooooope, not happening for the time being. can't believe i have to wait til end of october though.
what hurts the most
is that i know
how much you care.
but its not enough
to have a happy ending.
what we could have been, 12:32 am.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
if this is the after-effect of the surgery, then i guess i'm glad i extracted all four wisdom teeth at one go. puke/purge sessions getting more often and bloodier. le sigh. i feel so immune to the grossness of the situation because i'm banishing everything to the back of my mind.
i swear, if i died right now and an autopsy was done, they'd find my stomach full of blood. and that's no joke. the nurse encouraged me not to spit but swallow -something to do with preventing the stitches from pulling but i can't help it if it becomes necessary to favor the toilet than swallowing.
medicine isn't helping. my super painkiller has been limited to once a day. so is the swelling medicine. have about another five days worth of the three other medications but so far, don't know, don't see a difference in my condition. maybe i should be happy that it isn't worse?
i feel so mopey. this.. problem is so upsetting. i just want to talk to someone but not that i have the voice to do so. i hate it. i feel so alone when i can't talk, powerless to communicate. thank god for msn and sms huh michelle.
major tummy ache right now. can taste the blood. see, this is the very reason why i never had any interest in medicine. i hate blood, the smell, the taste, the sight of it disgusts me. i hate needles, being used on me or anyone else. i hate pain, physically, emotionally, whatever.
dear god, let me just curl up and pass out. please please please. oh yeah and not to drown on my blood-spit-whatever.
copperbloodfear.
i detest it.
i hate that you're ignoring me
at the time
that i need you most.
i want to see you.
but i'm loathe to do so,
because i don't mean anything to you.
i swear, if i died right now and an autopsy was done, they'd find my stomach full of blood. and that's no joke. the nurse encouraged me not to spit but swallow -something to do with preventing the stitches from pulling but i can't help it if it becomes necessary to favor the toilet than swallowing.
medicine isn't helping. my super painkiller has been limited to once a day. so is the swelling medicine. have about another five days worth of the three other medications but so far, don't know, don't see a difference in my condition. maybe i should be happy that it isn't worse?
i feel so mopey. this.. problem is so upsetting. i just want to talk to someone but not that i have the voice to do so. i hate it. i feel so alone when i can't talk, powerless to communicate. thank god for msn and sms huh michelle.
major tummy ache right now. can taste the blood. see, this is the very reason why i never had any interest in medicine. i hate blood, the smell, the taste, the sight of it disgusts me. i hate needles, being used on me or anyone else. i hate pain, physically, emotionally, whatever.
dear god, let me just curl up and pass out. please please please. oh yeah and not to drown on my blood-spit-whatever.
copperbloodfear.
i detest it.
i hate that you're ignoring me
at the time
that i need you most.
i want to see you.
but i'm loathe to do so,
because i don't mean anything to you.
what we could have been, 3:49 am.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
surgery in the early am. mom accompanied me and i was super nervous. the anaesasist (whatever spelling) was a good looking, young dude. hahaha. i think it made me much less nervous. hahaha. mich, he definitely earned a 6 at least!
woke up with the mouthful of blood. couldnt spit it out, couldnt swallow. ended up coughing it out. sighs. damn gross. its so funny. that my blood flow is super low when it comes to collecting blood but when i get cuts or scrapes, its like the bloody niagara falls. (and no, twelve hours after the surgery and my mouth is still bleeding)
couldn't leave so was transported back to day ward. super boring. there is no tv, no magazines. got a guy in the next, er, section who snored really loud so my attempts at sleep tended to be short. plus got this china guy who was super noisy and his friend, equally so.
of course, had to encounter this weirdo. this guy was waiting for his gf/wife when i returned. was still feeling doped up when i realised he was staring and walking around. he actually went up to the other two girls (one girl was slightly older than me, the other looked about mid-30s) and started conversing and trying to stand close to the bed. when he approached my bed, i glared at him which probably wasn't intimidating in the first place.
surprised that my dad cabbed down. and he bought me a 'get well' gift. <3 hahah. stoned pretty much the whole time with intervals to replace the gauze and spit out more blood. hehe, i forced my friends to sms with me since i was so bored.
i guess i was pretty lucky. despite the swelling, which my mom says made my babyhood chubby cheeks return, all i got was a temporary headache. the woman on my right ended up needing those oxygen tubes or something while the woman opposite me was kept on throwing up.
anyways, received a weeklong MC. didn't think i would need it at that point. but with the currently intense pain and constant bleeding, i doubt i wanna go anywhere.
Oh you said love was forever and you told me
love would never
Break my heart, and I believed you as I fell
That's all over, let it go,
You're just a song I used to know
And your fantasy, it don't work for me
Go and pick on someone else
-toby lightman
woke up with the mouthful of blood. couldnt spit it out, couldnt swallow. ended up coughing it out. sighs. damn gross. its so funny. that my blood flow is super low when it comes to collecting blood but when i get cuts or scrapes, its like the bloody niagara falls. (and no, twelve hours after the surgery and my mouth is still bleeding)
couldn't leave so was transported back to day ward. super boring. there is no tv, no magazines. got a guy in the next, er, section who snored really loud so my attempts at sleep tended to be short. plus got this china guy who was super noisy and his friend, equally so.
of course, had to encounter this weirdo. this guy was waiting for his gf/wife when i returned. was still feeling doped up when i realised he was staring and walking around. he actually went up to the other two girls (one girl was slightly older than me, the other looked about mid-30s) and started conversing and trying to stand close to the bed. when he approached my bed, i glared at him which probably wasn't intimidating in the first place.
surprised that my dad cabbed down. and he bought me a 'get well' gift. <3 hahah. stoned pretty much the whole time with intervals to replace the gauze and spit out more blood. hehe, i forced my friends to sms with me since i was so bored.
i guess i was pretty lucky. despite the swelling, which my mom says made my babyhood chubby cheeks return, all i got was a temporary headache. the woman on my right ended up needing those oxygen tubes or something while the woman opposite me was kept on throwing up.
anyways, received a weeklong MC. didn't think i would need it at that point. but with the currently intense pain and constant bleeding, i doubt i wanna go anywhere.
Oh you said love was forever and you told me
love would never
Break my heart, and I believed you as I fell
That's all over, let it go,
You're just a song I used to know
And your fantasy, it don't work for me
Go and pick on someone else
-toby lightman
what we could have been, 9:42 pm.
five and a half hours to go. seriously i wish i could just calm down. prayed for peace of mind, worked for awhile then got all agitated again. sighs. over-imaginative mind.
msned with mich but now she's gone to sleep. i should hit the sack too but again, my mind's in a bit of an overdrive.
gonna be a half-mute for tomorrow which is depressing considering how much i love to talk. and pain, like hell, i have no tolerance for pain. was told that i'm gonna wake up with a mouthful of blood after the surgery, not too sure how i'd feel then but it ain't sounding pretty.
missing you.
Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself
-taylor swift
yes i'm utterly addicted to taylor swift. i have have have to listen to a couple of her songs every day or i'll probably be more restless than i normally am.
msned with mich but now she's gone to sleep. i should hit the sack too but again, my mind's in a bit of an overdrive.
gonna be a half-mute for tomorrow which is depressing considering how much i love to talk. and pain, like hell, i have no tolerance for pain. was told that i'm gonna wake up with a mouthful of blood after the surgery, not too sure how i'd feel then but it ain't sounding pretty.
missing you.
Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself
-taylor swift
yes i'm utterly addicted to taylor swift. i have have have to listen to a couple of her songs every day or i'll probably be more restless than i normally am.
what we could have been, 3:15 am.
Monday, August 17, 2009
went out to catch a movie today. wanted to watch hangover but was convinced that where got ghost was the better option. BIG MISTAKE. i was freaked out for like half the movie. i swear, i hate that my friends never remember that i cant sit through horror and i waste a movie ticket staring at my feet or playing with my phone. sighssss.
but it wasn't too bad a movie really. just that you wont see me watching it EVER AGAIN. not even when my parents wanna watch it on dvd. haha.
surgery's in ten hours. i'm too nervous to sleep. can't eat from midnight onwards so no sweets or caffeine. sighs. stupidfuckingneedles. did i mention how deathly afraid am i of needles? especially with my low blood flow crap.
oh oh oh. btw i'm saving the text as proof yeah. hahaha. i think SOME people know what i mean. hahaha. can you say high?
having an headache right now. goshdarnit. of all inconvenient times. oh wells. not quite coherent as you can see.
I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me then you cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
-taylor swift
but it wasn't too bad a movie really. just that you wont see me watching it EVER AGAIN. not even when my parents wanna watch it on dvd. haha.
surgery's in ten hours. i'm too nervous to sleep. can't eat from midnight onwards so no sweets or caffeine. sighs. stupidfuckingneedles. did i mention how deathly afraid am i of needles? especially with my low blood flow crap.
oh oh oh. btw i'm saving the text as proof yeah. hahaha. i think SOME people know what i mean. hahaha. can you say high?
having an headache right now. goshdarnit. of all inconvenient times. oh wells. not quite coherent as you can see.
I'm sick and tired of your attitude
I'm feeling like I don't know you
You tell me that you love me then you cut me down
And I need you like a heartbeat
But you know you got a mean streak
Makes me run for cover when you're around
-taylor swift
what we could have been, 10:40 pm.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
well, erm. ain't exactly sure how long i've had this on my msn nick but i figured, new start, new name right?
good bye かわいい天使.
hello Xサイレン.
good bye かわいい天使.
hello Xサイレン.
what we could have been, 9:09 pm.
woo! this will be my 350 post. hahaha. kinda slow since i've had this blog for quite a while. heh.
anyways i guess my sleep debt's caught up with me. was super sleepy yesterday. i conked out around ten-ish after the chelsea match (they won, yay!) then woke up close to midnight. i barely lasted another two odd hours before i slept all the way til ten the next morning and i still feel tired. bleahs.
not sure what i'll be doing today. probably just skulking round home. my mom's been complaining that i'm super restless. i noticed it myself but i can't find any way to stop.
surgery's on the 18th. really dreading it. i hate needles. i hate hospitals. praying that there won't be any complications coz i sure as hell don't need the additional trauma.
anyways i guess my sleep debt's caught up with me. was super sleepy yesterday. i conked out around ten-ish after the chelsea match (they won, yay!) then woke up close to midnight. i barely lasted another two odd hours before i slept all the way til ten the next morning and i still feel tired. bleahs.
not sure what i'll be doing today. probably just skulking round home. my mom's been complaining that i'm super restless. i noticed it myself but i can't find any way to stop.
surgery's on the 18th. really dreading it. i hate needles. i hate hospitals. praying that there won't be any complications coz i sure as hell don't need the additional trauma.
what we could have been, 10:43 am.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
met michelle at parkway before heading to interview. had to get some passport sized photos. mich says hers look retarded but whatev. ate the berry-yogurt thingy. not a yogurt fan myself but i did like the unique coffee/chocolate/french vanilla so i was like wth and just ordered one. now i'm addicted to it. -.-
anyways. headed to the interview place. HELLO MICHELLE IF YOU GO TO AN INTERVIEW YOU OUGHT TO REMEMBER TO BRING A PEN RIGHT??? -.- silly cow didn't bring one so had to share mine and she ended up copying from my application anyways. lol.
waited from 1+ to nearly 5 before we got interviewed. FUCKING HELL LA. we were given numbers and the guy in front of me was definitely DRUNK. he was bloodshot and stank and dressed badly. we were minding our own business when he suddenly pitched forward over my arm rest while half staring and half mumblinng and i actually jumped and scooted as close to michelle. and he remained that way the entire time. like what the hell.
totally unimpressed with everything frankly. and my interview was super quick. coz i noticed for most people, they were asked to read something (to test english proficiency) and the woman just talked with me. i think she noticed i tend to pepper my speaking with slang and phrases. heh.
cabbed back with mich. both of us agreed that we're probably not gonna take the jobs. oh wells, back to step one.
never noticed how much
i appreciate my friends.
you guys make
me super happy.
i couldn't ask
for anyone better.
anyways. headed to the interview place. HELLO MICHELLE IF YOU GO TO AN INTERVIEW YOU OUGHT TO REMEMBER TO BRING A PEN RIGHT??? -.- silly cow didn't bring one so had to share mine and she ended up copying from my application anyways. lol.
waited from 1+ to nearly 5 before we got interviewed. FUCKING HELL LA. we were given numbers and the guy in front of me was definitely DRUNK. he was bloodshot and stank and dressed badly. we were minding our own business when he suddenly pitched forward over my arm rest while half staring and half mumblinng and i actually jumped and scooted as close to michelle. and he remained that way the entire time. like what the hell.
totally unimpressed with everything frankly. and my interview was super quick. coz i noticed for most people, they were asked to read something (to test english proficiency) and the woman just talked with me. i think she noticed i tend to pepper my speaking with slang and phrases. heh.
cabbed back with mich. both of us agreed that we're probably not gonna take the jobs. oh wells, back to step one.
never noticed how much
i appreciate my friends.
you guys make
me super happy.
i couldn't ask
for anyone better.
what we could have been, 5:37 pm.
Friday, August 14, 2009
have been thinking of what jt said yesterday. maybe it took someone to hurt me for me to realise, i've been allowing everyone to step over me. i need to learn to say no. thanks for the peptalk/advice. you may be an ass but still =D
emotional head rush. its crazy, pure and everything i love and hate. i keep saying it over and over again. you're so blind to everything. but its really fine. because that's how i want it to be. for you to stay without being anything but you.
doesn't make much sense in any way yet it makes me ever so happy. did you know? just that stupid smirk of yours makes my heart ache for you. your incorrigible wild ways make me so annoyed but at the end of the day, i always stay.
i just love the Nightworld series. its intoxicating. something like nectarines running down your arm in the summer. the little bit extra that makes everything sweeter. i think its like the original Twilight series (seriously if you read L J Smith, you'd swear stephenie meyer ripped it off from Nightworld). i cant believe reading the book again gave me so much to write down.
I'll be screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
-taylor swift
emotional head rush. its crazy, pure and everything i love and hate. i keep saying it over and over again. you're so blind to everything. but its really fine. because that's how i want it to be. for you to stay without being anything but you.
doesn't make much sense in any way yet it makes me ever so happy. did you know? just that stupid smirk of yours makes my heart ache for you. your incorrigible wild ways make me so annoyed but at the end of the day, i always stay.
i just love the Nightworld series. its intoxicating. something like nectarines running down your arm in the summer. the little bit extra that makes everything sweeter. i think its like the original Twilight series (seriously if you read L J Smith, you'd swear stephenie meyer ripped it off from Nightworld). i cant believe reading the book again gave me so much to write down.
I'll be screamin' and fightin'
And kissin' in the rain
It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name
I'm so in love that I acted insane
And that's the way I loved you
Breakin' down and comin' undone
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush
And I never knew I could feel that much
And that's the way I loved you
-taylor swift
what we could have been, 10:39 am.
feeling majorly stupid after getting tons of dressing down. i feel so wrongfooted. i guess, good intentions never necessarily mean the same thing for everyone. oh wells. just gotta face it, i can't keep avoiding or hiding behind other people.
freaked out by some creepy revelation yesterday night. i overreacted but at that point, it really upset me. sighs. i so don't wanna go back to see HER just because of it. FUCK YOU ARSEHOLE. seriously.
вы делаете мной падение глубоко в влюбленности с вами
я хочу расцеловать вас в дожде
freaked out by some creepy revelation yesterday night. i overreacted but at that point, it really upset me. sighs. i so don't wanna go back to see HER just because of it. FUCK YOU ARSEHOLE. seriously.
вы делаете мной падение глубоко в влюбленности с вами
я хочу расцеловать вас в дожде
what we could have been, 3:06 am.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
went to alexandra hospital for my pre-surgery check up. waited such a freaking long time til we got to see the doctor. the anaestist or something, can't spell it. bleahs. apparently there will be a ton of needles so i'm a bit more than just scared right now. i'm TERRIFIED. dammit, i hate needles. especially those that need to be poked into veins since my blood level or crap is reallyreally low and they never seem to get enough blood outta me. sighs.
met up with mich to bus down to taka to visit elyn. i think we were discussing guys and our, er, standards for our potential boyfriends, really funny. stayed and chatted with elyn for awhile but was feeling sleepy so we headed off to eat.
i kept telling mich i had a craving for takopaki/takopachi and since she was agreeable, we went to eat. she ordered her korean chicken thing again. -.- nice smell but i doubt i'll ever eat it. was in the queue for takopachi when we noticed 3 sec sch girls ogling this weird dude. so we started rating. lols. pretty embarrassing since we just rated nearly anyone and everyone we thought of or who passed by.
mich was pretty amused coz i was delighted when we got the takopachi then we stood around to eat. STUPID COW, eat slowly la, its super hot. -.- burned both our mouths anyways. bought my choc yanyans for a study snack.
yes yes michelle. i'm a super cheap date okay? -.- unlike you. the guy has to pass your many REQUISITES before you might even CONSIDER him. hahhaha. saddo.
fire.water.ice.
met up with mich to bus down to taka to visit elyn. i think we were discussing guys and our, er, standards for our potential boyfriends, really funny. stayed and chatted with elyn for awhile but was feeling sleepy so we headed off to eat.
i kept telling mich i had a craving for takopaki/takopachi and since she was agreeable, we went to eat. she ordered her korean chicken thing again. -.- nice smell but i doubt i'll ever eat it. was in the queue for takopachi when we noticed 3 sec sch girls ogling this weird dude. so we started rating. lols. pretty embarrassing since we just rated nearly anyone and everyone we thought of or who passed by.
mich was pretty amused coz i was delighted when we got the takopachi then we stood around to eat. STUPID COW, eat slowly la, its super hot. -.- burned both our mouths anyways. bought my choc yanyans for a study snack.
yes yes michelle. i'm a super cheap date okay? -.- unlike you. the guy has to pass your many REQUISITES before you might even CONSIDER him. hahhaha. saddo.
fire.water.ice.
what we could have been, 6:37 pm.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
I WANT A GUY...
who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,
hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.
Someone who would sing to me at random moments.
Who would let me sleep on his chest.
A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.
I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.
Someone who would let me gossip to him
and just smile and agree with everything I said.
He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then
KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.
Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.
He would take me to the park and
put his hands around my waist and
give me big bearhugs all the time.
He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.
And we'd make out in the pouring rain.
He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,
and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.
I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years
and COUNT STARS with me.
Who would stay home with me on a Friday night
just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.
Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,
who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.
But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART
- JG Rox
i guess.. i still miss the whole being in a relationship, being in love and utterly happy feeling. it sucks. but that's a reason why i wanted out so i have to face the alternatives, no matter how unappealing it may be.
met jt around lunchtime today coz we were gonna pick out our modules for next term. obviously payment scheme screwed up. mom's gonna be so pissed when they call her up about it. yeah so, i'll be pretty alone next term. plus got additional stuff to worry about and a possible new job. sighs. the things i do for love and money. hahaha.
i was reading through my blog. gonna try to revert to my previous writing style coz i feel my current 'style' is very singlish-fied. ugh.
who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,
hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.
Someone who would sing to me at random moments.
Who would let me sleep on his chest.
A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.
I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.
Someone who would let me gossip to him
and just smile and agree with everything I said.
He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then
KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.
Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.
He would take me to the park and
put his hands around my waist and
give me big bearhugs all the time.
He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.
And we'd make out in the pouring rain.
He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,
and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.
I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years
and COUNT STARS with me.
Who would stay home with me on a Friday night
just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.
Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,
who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.
But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART
- JG Rox
i guess.. i still miss the whole being in a relationship, being in love and utterly happy feeling. it sucks. but that's a reason why i wanted out so i have to face the alternatives, no matter how unappealing it may be.
met jt around lunchtime today coz we were gonna pick out our modules for next term. obviously payment scheme screwed up. mom's gonna be so pissed when they call her up about it. yeah so, i'll be pretty alone next term. plus got additional stuff to worry about and a possible new job. sighs. the things i do for love and money. hahaha.
i was reading through my blog. gonna try to revert to my previous writing style coz i feel my current 'style' is very singlish-fied. ugh.
what we could have been, 3:22 pm.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him and whisper "7 days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
Bad pick-up Line Come-backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
i love trawling through ff.net. always get really random or funny stuff.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him and whisper "7 days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
Bad pick-up Line Come-backs
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
i love trawling through ff.net. always get really random or funny stuff.
what we could have been, 3:17 pm.
can't believe i zonked out for eight straight hours. meant to go jogging this morning but i couldn't drag myself out of bed even though my annoying alarm blared like three times in a row. oh wells.
so amused by the whole situation you people have cooked up. there isn't and will never be. so why do you keep insisting on something that doesn't exist? but that's okay. i'm having fun just listening in.
so amused by the whole situation you people have cooked up. there isn't and will never be. so why do you keep insisting on something that doesn't exist? but that's okay. i'm having fun just listening in.
what we could have been, 8:37 am.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
had plans with mich and jt today yeah. pretty much last minute details. got a free ride from mich's grandparents to marina square. mich must hate me since her grandmother was commenting how i lost weight and mich should be losing some too.
forced to changed to my dress in marina. (so unfair la, its two of you versus me!!) mich made a funny while we were queuing so i kept laughing and i think the woman behind us must think i was crazy.
jt came and we stoned at the starbucks. was pretty bitchy mood then since i was grumbling over the dress. i totally don't do dresses so i felt awkward. had a choc chip frapp which put me in a better mood. jt totally doesn't understand what a choc chip frapp and a C. macchiato was until we explained it to him. note to him, to understand all this, need to brush up on michelle-inese. hahhaha.
watch g.i. joe. suay that the guy sitting in the row in front had to sit so uptight which meant my view was blocked lo. jt was amused by it and he added it was coz i'm short. -.- okay movie la. got to see channing tatum shirtless so no complaints. plus the girls were pretty hot so it wasn't too bad. me and mich were so disappointed coz we were waiting the entire movie to see whether the 'snake eyes' guy was shuai or not. haha.
oh yeah. both joel and michelle are arm rest HOGS. -.- and since i was sitting in the middle, i didn't get neither arm rest. thanks a lot. lols. didnt really matter since i practically forgo the arm rest and prefer to lean on people. mich and i kept talking throughout the movie too. tried to talk with jt but i guess he's the sort who can only concentrate on the movie and can't really pay attention to anything else. hahah.
was feeling sleepy after my temporary sugar rush. nearly fell asleep on jt and michelle. hahaha. headed to play pool but since i wasn't used to playing pool in a dress, abandoned it in favor for bowling. jt didnt join us lo. -.- he kept reading my CoS/E book. i felt so embarrassed coz its not exactly a book i would normally read.. but its really a good book. >.<
dance for me, lover.
boy, go dance with her.
pretty pink dress,
brown button down shirt.
she's all you need.
he's all she wants.
underneath the moonlit sky,
they dance.
forced to changed to my dress in marina. (so unfair la, its two of you versus me!!) mich made a funny while we were queuing so i kept laughing and i think the woman behind us must think i was crazy.
jt came and we stoned at the starbucks. was pretty bitchy mood then since i was grumbling over the dress. i totally don't do dresses so i felt awkward. had a choc chip frapp which put me in a better mood. jt totally doesn't understand what a choc chip frapp and a C. macchiato was until we explained it to him. note to him, to understand all this, need to brush up on michelle-inese. hahhaha.
watch g.i. joe. suay that the guy sitting in the row in front had to sit so uptight which meant my view was blocked lo. jt was amused by it and he added it was coz i'm short. -.- okay movie la. got to see channing tatum shirtless so no complaints. plus the girls were pretty hot so it wasn't too bad. me and mich were so disappointed coz we were waiting the entire movie to see whether the 'snake eyes' guy was shuai or not. haha.
oh yeah. both joel and michelle are arm rest HOGS. -.- and since i was sitting in the middle, i didn't get neither arm rest. thanks a lot. lols. didnt really matter since i practically forgo the arm rest and prefer to lean on people. mich and i kept talking throughout the movie too. tried to talk with jt but i guess he's the sort who can only concentrate on the movie and can't really pay attention to anything else. hahah.
was feeling sleepy after my temporary sugar rush. nearly fell asleep on jt and michelle. hahaha. headed to play pool but since i wasn't used to playing pool in a dress, abandoned it in favor for bowling. jt didnt join us lo. -.- he kept reading my CoS/E book. i felt so embarrassed coz its not exactly a book i would normally read.. but its really a good book. >.<
dance for me, lover.
boy, go dance with her.
pretty pink dress,
brown button down shirt.
she's all you need.
he's all she wants.
underneath the moonlit sky,
they dance.
what we could have been, 11:52 pm.
got woken by some psycho-bitch this morning. sighs. i shouldn't be so rude about it. but seriously this is one matter where my formerly infamous temper revives itself. especially after last night/early this morning. fuckshit.
anyways. since i was rudely awoken. finally twittered after ages. just made my wake up/alarm calls to jt and michelle. -.- mich isn't picking up her phone though. stupid cow.
got a dinner party tonight. not too thrilled coz frankly i'm not that interested in going out. rather hang out with friends but yeah.. =x
i guess, after spilling my problems that day, i feel so light hearted and cheerful. although sleep hours are just as bad, my sleep's much more restful than restless.
last call, last chance.
hands outreached,
i hug you for the last time.
before boarding the train
of never return.
goodbye.
anyways. since i was rudely awoken. finally twittered after ages. just made my wake up/alarm calls to jt and michelle. -.- mich isn't picking up her phone though. stupid cow.
got a dinner party tonight. not too thrilled coz frankly i'm not that interested in going out. rather hang out with friends but yeah.. =x
i guess, after spilling my problems that day, i feel so light hearted and cheerful. although sleep hours are just as bad, my sleep's much more restful than restless.
last call, last chance.
hands outreached,
i hug you for the last time.
before boarding the train
of never return.
goodbye.
what we could have been, 11:09 am.
14 hours to someone's death. be it mine or michelle. -.- i swear i need to learn to say no. gonna look like a bloody idiot tomorrow. sighs. i love my shorts and shirts okae??? >.<
went out with mich this morning. did our usual weigh-in. lost weight so i'm pretty thrilled. although just noticed my legs got this really awkward muscle bulge which makes me think of horses. -.- when i told my mom that, she just laughed while i continued my inspection. went shopping at taka with my mom. bought a top, reaaaaaaaally LOVE it. =D
stoned the rest of the day away. so yeah.
tomorrow gonna watch movie with mich and jt. we three seriously have diverse taste in movies. mich wants her bimbo-esque or horror stuff. i want romance or comedy. then jt, hmmm, well, he voted for public enemies but obviously neither mich or i would go.
mich hates those sort of deep meaning movies or uber fighting or ... stuff. i hate horror, freaks me out. and i'm sure jt won't appreciate it if we voted for something like 'the time traveler's wife' or the proposal or smth. hahaha.
i just want to be happy.
is that so difficult?
no-one sees how happy
you make me.
but its okay.
went out with mich this morning. did our usual weigh-in. lost weight so i'm pretty thrilled. although just noticed my legs got this really awkward muscle bulge which makes me think of horses. -.- when i told my mom that, she just laughed while i continued my inspection. went shopping at taka with my mom. bought a top, reaaaaaaaally LOVE it. =D
stoned the rest of the day away. so yeah.
tomorrow gonna watch movie with mich and jt. we three seriously have diverse taste in movies. mich wants her bimbo-esque or horror stuff. i want romance or comedy. then jt, hmmm, well, he voted for public enemies but obviously neither mich or i would go.
mich hates those sort of deep meaning movies or uber fighting or ... stuff. i hate horror, freaks me out. and i'm sure jt won't appreciate it if we voted for something like 'the time traveler's wife' or the proposal or smth. hahaha.
i just want to be happy.
is that so difficult?
no-one sees how happy
you make me.
but its okay.
what we could have been, 12:00 am.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
wound up tighter than ever.
i can't sleep, can't eat.
you make it so difficult.
i just wanna move on.
get on with my life.
wasted tears over you, me, us.
but its over.
and i just want out.
they tease, they joke.
but they don't see
the yearning, the heartache.
you play games,
distant one minute,
caring the next.
my heart and mind can't take it.
you're killing me.
what we could have been, 10:05 pm.
i so want to watch the movie, the time traveler's wife. especially since its got rachel mcadams in it. reading the book now. not as interesting as i thought it would be but it certainly hypes up the movie. =) reading speed is at an all-time low. but whateverrr.
semi-confined to my bed as of now. been really exhausted the last few days but i just can't sleep. sure, i'll lie down and probably be fast asleep for like thirty minutes then i'll toss and turn for an hour. sighs. i'm so gonna get humongous panda eyes. >.<
do you know..
that you're the only one
who can hurt me?
and to think that
i want the truth so badly
when i'm just going
to get crushed.
semi-confined to my bed as of now. been really exhausted the last few days but i just can't sleep. sure, i'll lie down and probably be fast asleep for like thirty minutes then i'll toss and turn for an hour. sighs. i'm so gonna get humongous panda eyes. >.<
do you know..
that you're the only one
who can hurt me?
and to think that
i want the truth so badly
when i'm just going
to get crushed.
what we could have been, 10:33 am.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
got an exam in a couple of hours time. fuck. despite my best efforts, nothing seems to be going in. i hate this so much. i'm so distracted by everything. why does it have to be this way? i half want everything to go back to normal. but if it did, would i still have you?
him.me.you.her.us.
i take your hand,
you pull me in.
headfirst into your world.
dark where mine is light.
untamed where mine is calm.
but we both agree
that it doesn't get
any better than this.
him.me.you.her.us.
i take your hand,
you pull me in.
headfirst into your world.
dark where mine is light.
untamed where mine is calm.
but we both agree
that it doesn't get
any better than this.
what we could have been, 12:56 am.
Friday, August 07, 2009
i couldn't sleep so i spent the entire early AM just msning with jt & gx and listening to music. they're slow to reply and that makes it aggravating. felt kinda sleepy so i asked jt to give me a wake up call if i did fall asleep while the laptop was still running but he didn't. -.- lucky i woke up within half an hour. idiot.
i hate sharing personal information mostly. but some people i can inexplicably trust without really having to know them that well or long. people like mich, WJ and others. not sure if its like women's intuition or instinct but whatever, i digress.
got a meeting with my 'school advisor' later. trying to sort out my second major. i would like to be optimistic but the way things are going, it looks like i'll be attending the latter of my two choices.
i want you.
i think i need you.
all of you.
i hate sharing personal information mostly. but some people i can inexplicably trust without really having to know them that well or long. people like mich, WJ and others. not sure if its like women's intuition or instinct but whatever, i digress.
got a meeting with my 'school advisor' later. trying to sort out my second major. i would like to be optimistic but the way things are going, it looks like i'll be attending the latter of my two choices.
i want you.
i think i need you.
all of you.
what we could have been, 12:09 pm.
feeling so sad and weepy. to be honest, nothing hurts as much as this right now. i feel so disconnected, so lost. but it was supposed to be the right thing. so how come it feels so wrong?
no one understands me
better than you do.
i'm sorry to leave.
but thank you
for letting me go.
i wish it could be forever
but it turns out
it might be never.
broken pieces of what we had
scattered amidst memories.
i miss you.
no one understands me
better than you do.
i'm sorry to leave.
but thank you
for letting me go.
i wish it could be forever
but it turns out
it might be never.
broken pieces of what we had
scattered amidst memories.
i miss you.
what we could have been, 1:54 am.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
does it make me a bad person for wanting something more?
or an idiot for not appreciating what i had?
i was fifteen, young and naive.
the world seemed better with you in it.
at eighteen, i still don't know any better.
and my world suddenly seems cold and empty.
the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you
About me and you
- Mixtape, Butch Walker
or an idiot for not appreciating what i had?
i was fifteen, young and naive.
the world seemed better with you in it.
at eighteen, i still don't know any better.
and my world suddenly seems cold and empty.
the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you
About me and you
- Mixtape, Butch Walker
what we could have been, 2:24 pm.
You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know
But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you
- Mixtape, Butch Walker
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know
But you gave me the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you
- Mixtape, Butch Walker
what we could have been, 9:56 am.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
was feeling tired all day long but i couldn't find get five minutes of sleep without being disturbed so i gave up on trying to catch some Zs. of course, you'd think i would feel sleepy now but noooo, i'm pretty wide awake.
didn't go cycling in the end. but i think me and mich are going jogging tomorrow morning. and have a romantic morning watching the sunrise. hahaha. mich asked if what i was wearing and i think she was a bit horrified when i told her i was just going to jog in whatever i wore to sleep. btw, i really don't think you need half an hour to get ready to perspire right?
am i wasting my time?
the fairytale i wanted,
is nothing more than just
dreams.
once, twice, three times.
now i'm gone,
and my heart is hurting.
i hope you're happy,
throwing away everything
that we could be.
didn't go cycling in the end. but i think me and mich are going jogging tomorrow morning. and have a romantic morning watching the sunrise. hahaha. mich asked if what i was wearing and i think she was a bit horrified when i told her i was just going to jog in whatever i wore to sleep. btw, i really don't think you need half an hour to get ready to perspire right?
am i wasting my time?
the fairytale i wanted,
is nothing more than just
dreams.
once, twice, three times.
now i'm gone,
and my heart is hurting.
i hope you're happy,
throwing away everything
that we could be.
what we could have been, 10:33 pm.
running on three hours of sleep. i'm super super sleepy but i can't go back to sleep for reasons unknown. my mind is racing, can't quite relax with all that thinking. my mom says its mostly mature, level-headed people who tend to think a lot which is why they're quiet most of the time. but i'm not exactly quiet and though i'm not proud of it, i ain't exactly that mature or level-headed so why am i being plagued by this?
kinda sick of exercising especially at home since i hate doing it in front of my family. either they'll ask a whole bunch of questions or they might belittle my efforts so yeah. probably go cycling later today if michelle's interested. it isn't fun going alone. =/ then again, if i was alone, i could probably blast my music but then who's gonna sit and talk with me at our regular place? maybe we'll see mr. showoff again.
kinda surprised people think that my poems are referring to someone i like/love/crush on. hahahah. sadly its not okay? really based on my past, present and my imagination, so it may not be someone currently or anything.
the cool breeze,
like your fingers ghosting over skin.
the raindrops,
like my tears over the truth.
the thunder and lightning,
like your moods, fierce and erratic.
the sun and bright, white clouds.
your smile, sunny side up, lighting my world.
the rosebuds,
like the cheeky smile you love.
the fallen leaves and flaky snow,
like memories swirling.
the cold, almost bitter ice,
like our hearts in eternal slumber.
just maybe
i could love you.
kinda sick of exercising especially at home since i hate doing it in front of my family. either they'll ask a whole bunch of questions or they might belittle my efforts so yeah. probably go cycling later today if michelle's interested. it isn't fun going alone. =/ then again, if i was alone, i could probably blast my music but then who's gonna sit and talk with me at our regular place? maybe we'll see mr. showoff again.
kinda surprised people think that my poems are referring to someone i like/love/crush on. hahahah. sadly its not okay? really based on my past, present and my imagination, so it may not be someone currently or anything.
the cool breeze,
like your fingers ghosting over skin.
the raindrops,
like my tears over the truth.
the thunder and lightning,
like your moods, fierce and erratic.
the sun and bright, white clouds.
your smile, sunny side up, lighting my world.
the rosebuds,
like the cheeky smile you love.
the fallen leaves and flaky snow,
like memories swirling.
the cold, almost bitter ice,
like our hearts in eternal slumber.
just maybe
i could love you.
what we could have been, 10:41 am.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
had such a great birthday! so what if i had class and it was super boring? jt didn't come so me, darren and jeremy were just chitchatting about nothing in particular. then i was bemoaning about classes next term -i'm so screwed.
my bro was sooooooooooo adorable. i had woken up real early so he came to wish me happy birthday despite his half-sleep. then when he was leaving, he gave me a super big hug and wished he could spend my birthday with me. i could have just died there and then. it really touched my heart. had lunch with my mom first. i really love spending time with her. its like i've felt abandoned by her and my dad when they started up their company when i was in primary six. so its like when i start to heal, everything feels alright.
anyways after that met michelle and we cabbed down to the pool place. it was pretty early since class ended an hour earlier than usual. i think we make mad pairings. coz we did boys vs. girls. so me and mich vs darren and jeremy. a bit chaotic since both sides weren't exactly great. so we were just muddling along.
jeremy left around sixish. sad. =( but jt joined us about half an hour later. then darren left. -.- hahha. its like those exchange gifts stuff. btw, kat started sending me 'you're old' 18 times just for my bday. thanks for the errr sweet gesture. haha.
mich and jt started up their competition. coz jt is the 'pro' so mich was DESPERATE to beat him so he would stop calling her by her very unwanted nickname plus she would get to lord over him about beating him in pool. hahhaas. poor mich, she thought she might have a chance to win but in the end i think she gave up. hahhaha. so the name still STICKS.
jt tried to bribe her to know that stupid secret that i wouldn't tell. ILOVEMICH. there is totally no way that jt could bribe her to tell anything. hahaha.
walked over to plaza sing after that. mich probably half-died while me and jt happily strolled, laughed and chatted all the way. could hear her heels clomping on the wooded pathway thingy. hahhaha. anyways IT WAS A PROMISE. seriously. mich is so thrilled coz jt didn't realize that we trapped him with a promise that had loopholes that WE benefited from. wahahaha!
i seriously love my birthday today. so i wont hate birthdays. i just hate getting older. hahhaa. anyways thanks christine, jon, andria, meagan, lydia, elyn, darren, jeremy, kat, wj and especially michelle and jt for making it so great. =)
you may seem rude and indifferent
but you make me laugh.
you act heartless
but you shower me with concern.
when you smile,
my heart flip-flops.
you know my favorite songs,
and what makes me happy.
so close your eyes
and just kiss me.
i belong to you.
my bro was sooooooooooo adorable. i had woken up real early so he came to wish me happy birthday despite his half-sleep. then when he was leaving, he gave me a super big hug and wished he could spend my birthday with me. i could have just died there and then. it really touched my heart. had lunch with my mom first. i really love spending time with her. its like i've felt abandoned by her and my dad when they started up their company when i was in primary six. so its like when i start to heal, everything feels alright.
anyways after that met michelle and we cabbed down to the pool place. it was pretty early since class ended an hour earlier than usual. i think we make mad pairings. coz we did boys vs. girls. so me and mich vs darren and jeremy. a bit chaotic since both sides weren't exactly great. so we were just muddling along.
jeremy left around sixish. sad. =( but jt joined us about half an hour later. then darren left. -.- hahha. its like those exchange gifts stuff. btw, kat started sending me 'you're old' 18 times just for my bday. thanks for the errr sweet gesture. haha.
mich and jt started up their competition. coz jt is the 'pro' so mich was DESPERATE to beat him so he would stop calling her by her very unwanted nickname plus she would get to lord over him about beating him in pool. hahhaas. poor mich, she thought she might have a chance to win but in the end i think she gave up. hahhaha. so the name still STICKS.
jt tried to bribe her to know that stupid secret that i wouldn't tell. ILOVEMICH. there is totally no way that jt could bribe her to tell anything. hahaha.
walked over to plaza sing after that. mich probably half-died while me and jt happily strolled, laughed and chatted all the way. could hear her heels clomping on the wooded pathway thingy. hahhaha. anyways IT WAS A PROMISE. seriously. mich is so thrilled coz jt didn't realize that we trapped him with a promise that had loopholes that WE benefited from. wahahaha!
i seriously love my birthday today. so i wont hate birthdays. i just hate getting older. hahhaa. anyways thanks christine, jon, andria, meagan, lydia, elyn, darren, jeremy, kat, wj and especially michelle and jt for making it so great. =)
you may seem rude and indifferent
but you make me laugh.
you act heartless
but you shower me with concern.
when you smile,
my heart flip-flops.
you know my favorite songs,
and what makes me happy.
so close your eyes
and just kiss me.
i belong to you.
what we could have been, 11:06 pm.
FINALLY EIGHTEEN. no more moping around. well, i told my mom i felt old when she came to wish me happy birthday and she laughed. she finds it hilarious i'm having a pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-semi-midlife/age-crisis. hahahha.
i feel superloved right now. i had like a dozen over people spamming me over msn and another few more by sms. thanks you guys. seriously i do feel lovelovelove! aint that right kat? thanks kat. she was working on her project yet she waited with me for the last few mins of my 17th year and the next ten of my eighteenth year. hahah. no competition, she is hands down my bestest, bosom buddy. =)
i want you
please stay with me.
my heart burns,
my eyes hunger,
for your return.
i feel superloved right now. i had like a dozen over people spamming me over msn and another few more by sms. thanks you guys. seriously i do feel lovelovelove! aint that right kat? thanks kat. she was working on her project yet she waited with me for the last few mins of my 17th year and the next ten of my eighteenth year. hahah. no competition, she is hands down my bestest, bosom buddy. =)
i want you
please stay with me.
my heart burns,
my eyes hunger,
for your return.
what we could have been, 12:08 am.
Monday, August 03, 2009
i'm turning 18 in about an hour and erm, forty-four mins? this is depressing. i spent nearly ten years waiting to turn eighteen yet now if i could, i'd fight the clock to reverse time. goshdarnit.
went out for lunch today. but seriously didn't have much appetite which was a pity since the meal was really yummy but i was just too full to eat. MICH, the cafe switched to cheapo cheese which tastes terribly icky. how sad. you ought to go give them a good scolding yeah? or maybe just send your mom and grandmother, they're pretty efficient. hahahaha.
class was dull. nothing to do really since its the class before the exam and we had finished our assignments. i expect tomorrow's class to be equally droll but got a new comic to entertain me then. iheartshim okay? so stop dissing my akito-kun.
did my nails with my mom. wasted an entire evening but it was pretty fun. i kinda like talking with my mom and spending time without the rest of the family interrupting.
anyways, one hour and thirty-nine minutes and counting down.
the rustle of sheets,
soft, soothing whispers,
skin on skin,
hearts afire, souls intertwined.
i could love you forever
but you've got to prove
you're sticking around for good.
don't keep me hanging.
i love you.
went out for lunch today. but seriously didn't have much appetite which was a pity since the meal was really yummy but i was just too full to eat. MICH, the cafe switched to cheapo cheese which tastes terribly icky. how sad. you ought to go give them a good scolding yeah? or maybe just send your mom and grandmother, they're pretty efficient. hahahaha.
class was dull. nothing to do really since its the class before the exam and we had finished our assignments. i expect tomorrow's class to be equally droll but got a new comic to entertain me then. iheartshim okay? so stop dissing my akito-kun.
did my nails with my mom. wasted an entire evening but it was pretty fun. i kinda like talking with my mom and spending time without the rest of the family interrupting.
anyways, one hour and thirty-nine minutes and counting down.
the rustle of sheets,
soft, soothing whispers,
skin on skin,
hearts afire, souls intertwined.
i could love you forever
but you've got to prove
you're sticking around for good.
don't keep me hanging.
i love you.
what we could have been, 10:15 pm.
Sunday, August 02, 2009
i'm so freaking embarrassed la! especially what happened this morning near the field. shuai ge or no, michelle, i doubt you can drag me there to watch. -flushes- i think like only three people know exactly what went down and i'm planning to keep it that way.
elyn went to cut her hair today. which is such a pity coz she's got adorable japanese anime-girl hairstyle. hahha. the long straight, flowy hair with bangs. and she went to chop it all off (at least what i know of, wont see end result for a week or so)
anyways just crapped finish my assignment. well, not crap per se. but you get the drift.
thinking of changing my hairstyle but i ain't got the guts to cut my hair. it took three freaking years to get my long hair back! i'm not about to cut it short again.
my devotion runs deep,
i'd follow you anywhere and everywhere.
you just can't see how much i care.
its only fair
that i tell you now,
i adore you and your broody ways.
but do you even see me?
or am i part of the background?
elyn went to cut her hair today. which is such a pity coz she's got adorable japanese anime-girl hairstyle. hahha. the long straight, flowy hair with bangs. and she went to chop it all off (at least what i know of, wont see end result for a week or so)
anyways just crapped finish my assignment. well, not crap per se. but you get the drift.
thinking of changing my hairstyle but i ain't got the guts to cut my hair. it took three freaking years to get my long hair back! i'm not about to cut it short again.
my devotion runs deep,
i'd follow you anywhere and everywhere.
you just can't see how much i care.
its only fair
that i tell you now,
i adore you and your broody ways.
but do you even see me?
or am i part of the background?
what we could have been, 11:28 pm.
okaes. in like two days i'll be eighteen, my bitterly anticipated eighteen. two sides of me are warring either to whoop or burst into tears.
i think i've hurt my left wrist which totally sucks coz i dont need an injured me on my bday. i wanna have fun and maybe get sloshed. well, at least michelle's gonna try and see if i can actually get sloshed or if i will just make faces at every alkie drink. hahahha.
have you noticed how much
you make me smile?
make me laugh and cry?
you're invoking feelings
long past and buried.
yet they're rising, surfacing
especially once you came round.
i could and probably do love you,
that much i know.
but you're so blind.
and she's the one you want.
i want you so bad.
and watching you with her,
hurts me.
i think i've hurt my left wrist which totally sucks coz i dont need an injured me on my bday. i wanna have fun and maybe get sloshed. well, at least michelle's gonna try and see if i can actually get sloshed or if i will just make faces at every alkie drink. hahahha.
have you noticed how much
you make me smile?
make me laugh and cry?
you're invoking feelings
long past and buried.
yet they're rising, surfacing
especially once you came round.
i could and probably do love you,
that much i know.
but you're so blind.
and she's the one you want.
i want you so bad.
and watching you with her,
hurts me.
what we could have been, 12:29 am.
